I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it's great music for shaving your balls
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize