People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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