chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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