Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
