woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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