he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize