How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
