is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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