I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Your dad touched me again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
