My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
