lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
