do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
