doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
