will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
