Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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