How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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