My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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