I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
