She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
