i permit you to call me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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