I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
