hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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