Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
