I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
