I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
