to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
