What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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