All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
