I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize