just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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