based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize