wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize