very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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