I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
