so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
