are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
