Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wish there were birth control emojis
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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