is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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