fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
