I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
