Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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