I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
