so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
