We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
