But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
