Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
