If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
