So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
