I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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