Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
