Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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