Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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