While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize