I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
