We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
