just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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